Thursday, May 10, 2007



bukan nama majalah. bukan juga mau ngebahas isi majalah. x)

just wondering.

time tuh suatu besaran dlm fisika yg ga bakal bisa balik lagi alias irreversible (kata pa ang), but who knows, maybe our future shows other facts? haha. ok. slaen sbuah besaran yg ga bisa balik lagi, time jugalah yg merupakan satu satunya medium yg memungkinkan smuanya utk bisa possibly happens.

misalnya, kita ngalamin yg namanya pertumbuhan. nah, kita ga bakal bisa pernah tumbuh tanpa adanya kekuatan dr God itself and time, right? ga ada waktu, ya kita bakalan mandek segini terus. x)

what i've been wondering is..

how could time heals our inside pains? such as prasaan benci, dendam, prasaan ga enak, prasaan bersalah, and even love. smua prasaan itu bisa ilang gitu aja sama yg namanya time. oh, and many of the movie stories are fake. yg namanya 'eternal love' itu nyatanya ga bener bener ada (or at least, coz i've only live here for 18 years for now! x)). klo pun ada, yaah.. jarang pisan.

that's why.. now i'm shivering.. i'm afraid.. of what would happen. i'm afraid if my presumes and dreams, and hopes, and my hidden feelings that i know i'll never admit until something changes me, for everything i expect, would be gone and that my life would just plainly go on without ever be able to be released. ahh.. sebel klo udh ngerasa ky gini, as helpless as ever, and yet ga bs ngungkapin smua. saat saat ky gini inilah i'm starting to feel like.. i'm not me. i'm not myself. but yes, once you're reach an 'adult' age, u'd start thinking about something u never really think about before :

TO BE ABLE TO DO SOMETHING. to deal with the time.

ya. kayanya kita emang harus punya mimpi, i dont know. i dont even think about it. and i dont even have a realistic dream i'm willing to be. gatau deh. ko kayanya i'm faaarrr away from yg namanya 'dream'.

hehe. ah, tp whatever deh, for now i'll just enjoy my time dan bersenang senang!

ah. tu kan jd lupa.

what i'm wondering is, how could time heals our inside pains?

and is it possible to stop the time?

or should i just deal with it instead?

i want somebody to understand.. to understand with not even a single word. gosh i'm terrible in saying romantic or serious things. x). this 4-months-guarantee is finally going to reach its limit. si waktu 4 bulan yg tadinya menyenangkan ini is beginning to fade away. juli ntar, we'll see. we'll see how things are kept.

will time be kind enough to keep those things the way they are? to keep things just as i want them to be?

or will time fights my will? will time erases them all and offers me a new, hopefully-fun life?


we'll see.

we'll see what will happen.

we'll see what this MIGHTY time might do to me.

even if i dont want a single change, how could i, a stupid-headed girl, be against this mighty time? x)

even if i have my wishes.. have my own deep-buried-feelings.. tp gimana sayah bs bikin smua itu idup? when everything's blurry.. when i can just wait for the time.. aku ga bisa apa apa. i can just wait.. dan mnunggu kekuatan yg akan diperlihatkan oleh sebuah 'waktu'. kekuatan, yg harus aku terima in whatever forms it would shown in July.

*stupid people saying stupid things again. hehe.* x)

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