tralalala

fuuh. *deep sigh*

feels sooo exhausted..

cape.

no.. not physically. badan sih biasa aja.

hanya sedikit cape.. dan hanya lagi pengen mengeluh..

well.. i kind of.. mengalami begitu banyak coincidences ttg sesuatu. at first i thought it's just my curiosity who plays.. tapi setelah begitu banyak KEBETULAN.. begitu banyak MAKNA.. bgitu banyak harapan..

ada satu temen aku sampe ngomong, "if i were God, kep.. i'd choose you instead of everyone else. kamu emang cocok banget. kamu tau sendiri kan Tuhan seolah-olah ngasih jalan sama kamu.. dilancarin semuanya. banyak bgt kebetulan2 yang terjadi.. and it suits you. in every way."

yah kira2 begitulah. dia ngomong panjang lebar sebenernya, tapi aku ga inget. at that very time, well i doubt i could ever listen to any voices around. saat itu kan aku bener2 shocked.. but yet excited. haha.

...

but now..

kayanya si gue.. bukannya meneruskan smua ini, tapi malahan kabur gitu aja. well. setelah aku tau banyak.. justru aku smakin ga bisa menemukan celah untuk bisa ngelakuin ini. smakin aku tau banyak.. smakin aku bisa memaklumi smuanya.. pdhal harusnya aku bisa memperbaikinya. i should've try harder to fix it.. not just sitting here, watching, doing nothing..

i won't have any shocking mondays again.. now my mondays are as happy as any other days.

and as i lose that shocking mondays..

i lose almost every links i have.

and that absolute link i first depend on most..

skarang udh ga bisa diharepin lagi.

well. kebetulan2 itu pergi sama ga terduganya seperti saat kebetulan2 itu dateng.

i don't know exactly what this means, and yet i begin on losing my hopes.. well for now.. i guess i'd just keep on living my life as it has never happened.

hehe. solat dzuhur paling 'deket' dan paling bermakna spanjang hidup si gue pada hari itu, and all my prays back then, bakalan tetep aku simpen dan bakalan terus aku doain sampe smuanya dapet yang terbaik.

i'm gonna miss that amazing dzuhur pray.. solat dzuhur aku yang paliiiiiing deket sama Allah.. hehehe. berlebihan ah kep.

..


hyaha!!

udah ah. pusing. lieur klo makin dipikirin.

this power ranger thing akhirnya akan mencapai saat2 terakhirnya juga.. hehe.

it's just like a power ranger resigning from her job..

not because she doesn't want to, but because a plain fact that the matter cannot be helped at all..

hey, how can we fix things if it's never been broken?

karna inilah yang aku dapet. been trying to fix a thing.. pdhal mah rusak juga ngga. smuanya ngga diliat kasat mata dari luar aja.. biarpun luarnya jelek bgt, but if we look down deeper and deeper.. justru kejelekan dan kecacatan itulah the main reason kenapa mereka ada.

haha.

lieur enough?